My mother’s Facebook post today:
Well its official I’m going to be a great-grandma to a precious baby boy in mid Sept. Yeah so excited and even more excited to see Brandi step up to the roll of grandma. I think she has learned alot from me. Congrats to my grandson Casey and precious Alana. I believe you two will make great parents. Remember to have patience and to listen to advice. He will be so loved and special to everyone. And last to Robert and Daytona, It’s time to take on the rolls of Aunt and Uncle. You both will do a great job, after all look at your roll models. Always remember to stay close and to love one another, your all FAMILY.
What I wish I could post as a comment:
Well its official (fuckety, fuckety, fuckery) I’m going to be a great-grandma to a precious baby boy in mid Sept (God help this child and oh yeah, he has a high probability of being mentally or physically disabled, his 17 year old mother posts pictures of her smoking pot on Facebook as well as her baby daddy smoking pot and all the various other drugs he does and has done. They both live with you and have for almost two years – when she was 16 friggin years old, which is statutory rape since he is now 20 and your house smells like pot so badly I get a contact buzz going to the bathroom. You think I’m lying when I tell you he’s smoking pot. Or you laugh it off. The home you rent is in your name and your name alone. If the Po-Po come, they’re taking my 65 year old mother to jail along with C$SH (as he refers to himself) and his crew! Precious new baby will go into the care of the State – yeah, that really has a proven track record! This Daddy to be has been arrested, spent time in jail before he turned 18, robbed you blind, beat you up, yes, physically beat you up and do you know who bailed him out of jail with her rent money? I do! It was you. Public records. It’s funny how you swore to my face that you didn’t bail him out. You looked your own daughter in the eyes and swore on your life you were not the one who did it. The fact is I already knew you were the one. And then I watched you get mad at me, yell at me for even asking you. And then you lied. He and baby mama also beat up his 19 year old sister on Christmas Eve over a drug deal gone bad. My mouth was bleeding from biting my tongue on Christmas while I was disappointed with her as I just knew she had potential to rise up above this crap combined with the bile rising in my throat from the anger swirling inside holding me back from kicking off my Cole Haan’s and kicking his punk ass. He has countless pictures of him smoking pot in your home posted on Facebook, there were pictures of him with friends holding guns with pot on your dining room table and he took those down. I hope you understand why your other kids don’t like coming around a lot. Last time he was arrested (right before he went to that 6-month rehab for one night (you remember, when he called and said how hard it was and you went and picked him up and told us all this horrible tale about bed bugs and the whole place had to be evacuated? He would be back in a few days…that was last summer. He’s been at your place every night and day since then. During that one or two sober days he admitted to you and me and his mom that he was stealing from people to pay for drugs, selling drugs, stealing drugs, people wanted him dead. He almost looked sorry for what he did. It was all an act. He dropped out of school, uses and abuses you. He comes and goes at all hours of the day and night, has his white ‘thug wanna be’ friends at your house eating your food, using your washing machine, dealing drugs, talking like they’re big time, taking showers using your water because they’re so big time, their electricity was turned off for not paying the bill. And remember that huge party they threw when I took you out of town for a week? You and me, shopping, nice meals out, no guns, no drugs, long conversations, great laughs. I remember every minute of that trip. I want times like that with my mom again. When I moved home, I envisioned lots and lots of mother daughter fun. Watching your life, energy and good nature being blatently taken advantage of over and over and over again – I’ve watched it happen for more than half my life. It’s hard to be around. I came from you. You made me. I love you. I don’t understand you anymore though. I feel such a loss. And I try not ask too many questions, not to make any suggestions and just keep it simple. I try harder than you’ll ever know, Mom. I’ve told you these same words with tears streaming down my cheeks and watched you yell at me, grit your teeth, call me names. I’ve fought back. I’m ashamed of it. I try not to. I wish I could stop caring so much.
Moving away for 22 years allowed me to not really see what was going on in your life. It was better that I didn’t watch this up close and personal for all this time. The last year and a half has been hard enough. When we came back from that trip to Dallas, your house was trashed, the garbage can was filled with alcohol bottles, I wanted to help clean up. You deserve so much better, Mom. I want you to have what you deserve, not what you’ve come to settle for. I helped for a few minutes and then I left. I cried the entire way home. I knew for sure that time and place and hopes and dreams were gone. I could wish for you all the wishes I had, I could stand up to you and for you, I could pick up all the broken glass in the driveway, but it wouldn’t do any good. That was the day I gave up. A few days later you called and told me that while we were gone someone stole your checks and credit cards! You were sure it wasn’t any of Casey’s friends. You pinned it on Daytona. You always do. You choose him every time. It was then that I knew my decision to quit fighting and just accept that we were never going back to that mother daughter relationship that we had again. I wasted one last wish and prayer that you God would at least keep you safe and not let the people that are out to get Casey take my Mom’s life. Casey has threatened to kill me for packing his crap in trash bags to try to get him out of your house. You supported him. Every step of the way. Lied for him, covered for him, lied to your kids faces. Lost our trust and respect. Those kids that didn’t do anything but go to school, get good grades, not get pregnant, go to college, have families IN wedlock, buy homes, have good credit, that come over and fix the holes this kid puts in your walls, we vote, we volunteer, we love you. We’re not perfect, our lives aren’t perfect. I never pretend or state that they are, but we do the best we can, we support ourselves and our families and we show up when you call on us. We watch you get beat down, our own mother, and we still spoke up even when we knew you would lash out at us. Even when you are yelling and tell us to leave, we always tell you we love you as we walk out the door. And watching this child (and our sister before him) has made our lives a living hell. You never even considered how this affects us. Watching you live in an unsafe environment. Worrying about someone coming in and killing you because he lives there. You have drained your 401k to get him lawyers and support him. Imagine all the drugs you have bought for him by giving him your hard earned money. You worked for 25 years at WalMart taking shit from every single manager, sweeping up piles of crap off the floor, working holidays and overtime; you can hardly walk because you stood on concrete in bad shoes because you spent your money on everyone else but you. You got fired after 25 years and now you’re taking care of a woman who isn’t that much older than you in order to pay your bills and Casey’s bills, and DayDay’s bills and Alana’s bills and soon to be baby bills and I hear those aren’t cheap. Probably about twice the amount Casey spends on drugs and alcohol each month. And watch you support these disrespectful leeches. You raised your youngest child (a recovering drug addicts) two kids that have no drive, ambition, respect or loyalty for you. You gave your all and that give you nothing in return. And now although one of them works – kudo’s DayDay, but she doesn’t pay you anything to help cover the cost of living. All I can see is a great grandchild that you’re going to have to raise…when does it stop? Oh, wait, some of my tax dollars will help with their welfare payments, so maybe you’ll get off lighter this time.). Yeah so excited (Yeah, why wouldn’t you be? I mean Casey is 20 and has never had a job or contributed to any bills, you support him and his drug habit – he seems like GREAT father material to me – look out PTA, I see a new president in your future!) and even more excited to see Brandi step up to the roll of grandma (I am actually excited to see my sister so excited and happy as hell it isn’t me. Hell my boyfriend has a 2 ½ year old, I think I’m a looong way from becoming a grand-ma-ma! She is thrilled and I am happy that she has a chance to be a huge part of a baby’s life because she didn’t do that for her own children because she was strung out on drugs and crazy out of her mind. I am so proud of the woman that my sister has grown to be. I would have bet everything I owned against her. I love the relationship and friendship we’re building and look forward to many years to come spending time getting to know each other again.
My sister had Casey when she was 14 and now her baby is having a baby. Funny, my mom got pregnant with me when she was a senior in high school, unwed – me thinks me sees a trend in the family. I just thought of this – my mom is 65. Casey and precious Alana are having a baby this year. If that baby follows the trend, he could be a daddy in 17 years and I have no reason to believe my mother couldn’t live to be 82 and be a great-great-grandmother. Actually if Casey’s precious baby knocks some girl up at 14 – and let’s face it, odds are completely possible here if history can help predict the future – and that baby gets knocked up at 15, and my mother lives to be 94, she could be a living great-great-great grandma. Math isn’t my best subject but I believe this is correct-ish. Holy shit. I think we could set some kind of world record. Casey’s picture would be plastered all over the internet with something other than a mug shot! He can be as famous as he already believes he is! I say we go for the record. How many people do you think you can support on your Social Security? Because they’re all going to be living with you. I think she has learned alot from me. I’m not even going to comment here. Congrats to my grandson Casey and precious Alana. I believe you two will make great parents. (I believe you’re delusional) Remember to have patience (Oh, they have patience – they’ve been living off you for two years – I have full belief in their ability to suck every last drop from you for a very long time.) and to listen to advice (You should add something like, from people who actually do shit with their lives and produce productive members of society. Just a thought.). He will be so loved and special to everyone (I’d dare say not everyone – although I wish the little boy no ill will. This isn’t your fault little boy. This is just a bad set up for a shitty life and you haven’t even gotten here yet! Your daddy thinks he’s gangster and people come into the driveway and threaten to kill him, show guns, and not just to him, but to my mom, your great grandma, who sees this, and doesn’t call a single police officer because her phone battery is low. You Mom dropped out of high school. I hear her family is so bat shit crazy they make my family look a little refined. And last to Robert (I love you pookie) and Daytona, It’s time to take on the rolls of Aunt (Okay I do have a roll – it’s around my gut and it’s probably from Swiss Cake Rolls ironically) and Uncle. You both will do a great job (I love them both but both of them are on my shit list right now and the name brand clothing purchases and meals are coming to a shut down until they return to a better path), after all look at your roll (insert fat joke here) models. Always remember (I honestly try to forget this often. Or pretend it’s untrue…) to stay close and to love one another, your all FAMILY. (I do love my family. Even after knowing them. I watch things go on and I am convinced I was stolen from some other family and placed here for a reason. I’m not sure what it is and I’m guessing I’d disagree if someone told me what it was. I do know this for certain. Families are hard. You can love someone with all you have, all your being. You can watch them in disbelief live a life that you’re 100% certain they are deserving of better. You can try. You can quit. You can stop believing. But they’ll always be your family. And you know they love you in their own strange way. You realize the Cleavers and the Brady’s were nothing but a fantasy. You grow up. You can choose to stand inside their ring of fire and become consumed by it or you can just stand close enough to feel the warmth from time to time. You can learn to bite your tongue. You can learn to restrain your instincts. It will hurt. It will be the harder road, but it’s the one that’s better for you in the long run. You can even develop your own little family that isn’t on fire (well, most of the time anyway). Everyone has issues. Even me. And my current issue is now I’m craving a Swiss Cake Roll so badly I’m about to ‘roll’ up to do some Krogering and give Little Debbie a little bit of my hard earned money.
And I just remembered that I do know one other thing for certain. If my family & I were stranded in the snowy mountains after a plane crash, I would be the first to be eaten. True. Story.
Oh and one other thing I am 98% certain of is that this would be too long to post on Facebook. So, I just posted. Congrats Great Granny!